In our society of consumerism, gift giving has been reduced to an obligation. Valentine's Day, Mother's Day, Father's Day, and even Christmas at one time either did not exist or were not big occasions for giving gifts. These days, though, they are implanted in our brains as obligatory occasions to make sure not to offend anybody.

Who do we get gifts for? Who can we afford gifts for? What parameters do we use to decide who's in and who's out? Do we get a gift for Mom on Mother's Day, her birthday, and her anniversary? All of these are questions that burden us on a regular basis.

The only thing more useless than an obligatory gift (I'll get back to why) is a greeting card. Are we so pathetic that we can't just express our feelings with our voices (either in person or on the phone)? How long are you supposed to keep a card that is given to you? When are you supposed to send a thank you card in return for a card that was received? Aren't there more important things during a wedding than worrying what the invitations look like? Just some questions to ponder...

Getting back to the obligatory gift giving, doesn't it get difficult most of the time to decide what to get somebody? Maybe that's because we are not sure what the person really wants or needs. Maybe it means that we spend more time trying to decide on useless gifts for people than time trying to learn more about that person. All of these problems culminate in the ultimate atrocity - what Jerry Seinfeld referred to on his Sitcom as "gift re-giving". Once somebody becomes a gift regiver, there is no turning back. They become just as pathetic as the person who gave them the gift in the first place. Then there is always the embarrassment of not remembering who gave someone a gift and then giving that same gift right back to them on the next occasion.

"So what is your solution?" Well, since I try to offer no complaint without at least one opinion on how to resolve the situation, here it is: stop giving obligatory gifts and stop expecting them in return (notice I do not suggest stopping gift giving altogether). Also, take the time to truly learn about other people's characteristics, desires, and needs. If you take these and combine them with a sense of spontaneity, this provides a very good solution.

Genuine people will appreciate smaller gifts that are more thoughtful and are not associated with a formal occasion than a larger, more impersonal obligatory gift. Sometimes I am in a store and I see something and say to myself, "So and so would really appreciate this!" That's when I buy it for them. Oftentimes, the gift is not even a purchase but a gift of time or love or labor. Once again, a genuine person would appreciate this more. Always remember, a good gift is a sign that you remembered somebody on an ordinary day and that you have taken the time to truly know the person as well.